Every few weeks or so I find myself in a recurring situation. Bill time. I'm sure most folks who will read this know exactly what I mean. Bills are always higher than we wish they were. If only we could spend a few dollars less than we have to. That sort of thing.
But, every single time I start thinking that way I have to stop and remind myself that I am so blessed. I earn enough money to pay my bills, pay my tithe and put money in savings. And afterwards I can still spend a bit if I want to. I'm not rich by any means, but I can afford to give myself quality things instead of scrimping to buy something that will barely get me by. I can't buy designer clothes every weekend, but I don't need to.
I can afford to keep myself fed, healthy, clean and well groomed. And I don't really need more than that. So, every time I watch that paycheck slip out of my account I try remind myself that 1. I am not spending this one nothing, I have used or purchased goods or services in exchange for every penny that I lose. and 2. That after it is all said and done, I still have a jingling purse that will more than last me til my next payday.
So, today, bills paid and done with I am happy to say that I am so grateful to God for putting me in a place of such security and stability. I am blessed and grateful.
Today is a breakdown day for me. They don't happen often, and when they do I can't stand them. Usually the depression is accompanied by anger. Especially when as on days like this most of my issues stem merely from my hormones going all crazy.
When I KNOW that there is nothing really wrong beyond the normal stresses of living. When I KNOW that life is not really terrible and sad and difficult right now. When I KNOW that everything I am feeling is simply being blown out of proportion because the chemicals in my brain are on a regularly scheduled (Dr's orders) freak-out thanks to the hormone pills I take. Well then, then I get mad because I can't get myself to move past it and accept events rationally. I start to cry over something small and then I get angry, and try to stop. And I can't, which makes me more upset, and I start to feel like I'm temporarily crazy. My mind is sane and my emotions are not. I am losing control of myself and it scares me.
I remind myself that this is "natural" in a sense. A woman's hormones shift, and for a while she just feels crazy. And for a little while that helps me to sort myself out and maintain equilibrium. Until the next thing happens, like.... I was frazzled and jumped out of the car without grabbing the gym bag or kissing my boyfriend goodbye. The gym bag is not really a big deal, the lack of goodbye kiss sucks and I feel bad for not giving him the attention he deserves. (plus a kiss would really have been nice.) But it's nothing to cry about and be miserable over.... Yet there go the waterworks all over again.
I never had problems like this when I was younger, and I wondered why some women felt like they couldn't even get out of bed. I get it now ladies, you're not going crazy it just feels that way and staying in bed where you can be calm and behave is soooo much nicer and better than trying to get through a day of interaction while feeling like you can't even function.
On top of the inner insanity, life decided to actually dump extra drama into the mix as well. So now there really isn't capacity to cope. Ugh! Just two more days after this. Two more days til normality..... I can make it.
The title of this blog inspired the following conversation.
Karen: Wax use wax.
David: They have rehab clinics for that.
Me: Rehab for nasal alien invasions?
David: I mean...if it's a recurring problem. And if they don't, they really ought to. The way I see it, it's a fifty-percent thing. One should at least reflect upon what has done to become vulnerable to nasal alien invasions.
Me: Well any human is vulnerable to them, unless you plug your nose up every night before you sleep they have an open avenue. But if you did plug your nose, then you'd have to sleep with your mouth open to breathe, and once again they have an in. So really the best measure is to take a good steamy hot shower right when you wake up and then blow your nose really well several times to make sure you eject and would be invaders. Measures like this have allowed me to be infestation free for nearly 28 years.
Me: Though.... I suppose the folks who have tubes in their nose for oxygen are relatively safer. They can sleep with their mouths closed and their noses are blocked by the tubes thus denying the aliens entrance to their brains. Which is good for them, because when you're on an oxygen feed it is rather difficult to be able to blow your nose a lot.
Adrian: Hahahahahaha..., oh Noel
Me: Can you deny my logic? :P
David: All I'm saying is that when you hang out in strange galaxies, you take your chances.
Karen: I have a towel.
Me: What are you talking about strange? The inner dreamworks of my mind are exceedingly familiar to me.
David: I will have to remember that you exist in a different space then the rest of us. Your world is not limited by the same banal constraints.
Me: Oh of course not. Where is the fun in that?!
Later…. David: Oh, now that is wrong. Taking my juice box away is like a civil rights violation or something.
*shrugs* The juice box was not my fault.
Once again it has been a while since I posted. My life was nothing but show prep for several weeks there. And in the week and a half since I came home I have had the pleasure of dealing with a throat infection. Fun times! But for anyone who is interested, here is a quick recap of my show.
First off I have to say thank you to all the friends and family who helped me get ready for the show. My Mom provided wonderful advice, and gave her time when I didn't have any to help me find suppliers and pick out logos and guided me through so many of the little details that would have slipped right past me. My best friend Vega gave up lunch breaks and days off to run errands for me and make countless trips to Hobby Lobby and Michael's with me. (Thank you for braving that rank cinnamon spray with me.) Also thanks Miss Ty for being kind enough to give me a place to stay and transportation when I popped up to Austin for the Pre-show. I really couldn't have managed that trip without you. And to ALL of my friends from BC, and RAW and FB who encouraged and supported me the past two months and before. :D
The trip itself was great thanks to Vega and My sister. Car rides are never boring with the two of them, and oooh it was a spectacular gloomy rainy night going through trees and I am sure there were all sorts of secret fae things lurking in the shadows around us. I was a bit sad that it was so sunshiney on our way home.
The show itself was a thrill. I was tired and squished and footsore by the end of the night but it was all worth it! I met several other great artists, made some sales, gained a ton of experience and just had fun!! My table was right on the open glass wall that looked out to the outdoor stage. So I got to hear all of the live music while still tending to my table. I didn't get away long enough to see really see a lot of the other artists work, but I'll make sure to do it next time.
My sister was an amazing help there as well. She helped me set up my table, found gorilla glue when one of my masks attempted suicide. When she wasn't watching my table she was with my models offering help with hair and make-up if needed. And also was zipping around just helping random people who flitted by needing assistance. So happy you could be there Kiddo. :)
Vega was my other hero that night. He got us there, and then cut his hang out time with our friend Tania (Got to see her for the first time in about six years that night. It was great!) short so he could fight his way through traffic (uphill both ways) to get the dress that was forgotten at the hotel. He also brought food to prevent fainting spells, took two sick friends home and still came back to get me after the show. You ROCK!!!
Nikki and Dot were at the table next to me, it was so nice to have friendly faces close by! And a neighbor I knew I could trust. ;) And Nikki gave me such great advice about catching photographers and media folk and getting their info so I can be sure to get in touch later. Thank you Dollface!
I also had wonderful models from Zephyr Talent and Butterfly Entertainment. Ray from Zephyr was also kind enough to be the make-up and hair stylist for the models and myself (loved the hairdo she gave me). And they all showed my work off wonderfully. The pictures they took in my pieces are magnificent! And they rocked the runway!!! We got sent up first! Which of course had my stomach doing flip-flops, especially as we never really did a run through before the show. But they all nailed it, and I heard the crowd cheering so loudly while they walked that I still get all tingley when I think about it. And I must admit, I loved getting to walk the stage myself at the end of it. I'm a bit of a sucker for the spotlight. ;)
Thank you as well to all the great photographers who shared their spectacular pictures of my models and jewelry. You are all great, and I am just pleased as punch with the pictures!!! :D I hope to see y'all the next time I come to Austin.
Oooh I also need to say thanks to our excellent DJ that night, I ran out of music before I ran out of models walking and she just re-looped it and kept it going without a hitch. So a huge thank you to DJ Kay Cali in Austin!!
I have to say many thanks to the lovely ladies who were running the show. Meghan and Christina took care of all of us and made it such a fun and easy night. Thank you again for choosing to feature me at Discovery! So glad for the chance to work with y'all and I can't wait to do it again. I'll see you in San Antonio soon!
I only sold three pieces that night, but that's ok. Each one of them ended up with someone who really loved them, and it was so great seeing people find their piece. One lady kept switching between two masks trying to decide, while her husband told her how pretty they each looked on her. She picked my cutest one and asked me to sign it for her. :D Another lady stopped by and fell in love with one necklace. She tried to walk away and deny the connection but she couldn't resist. She soon returned and this time when she left, there was a lovely three tiered piece of happiness around her neck. The third went to Christina, one of the show directors. She asked to borrow a piece to wear during the show because her neck felt so bare. I let her choose one and by the end of the show she was saying she had to take it home. She told me later that she wore it for three days straight because she liked it so much!
All three of these are just the sort of stories I had hoped would surround my work. Someone found one of my creations that they loved. That is the perfect fulfillment of my dreams as a jewelry maker. So for me, it was a definite success. :D
There was only one sad note that night. My Daddy was sick and that prevent my parents from going to my first show. I missed them, and wished they could have been there. I know they wanted to be there too, and I definitely know they were sending lots of love and encouragment from home. They also have both been so kind and supportive ever since I started making jewelry, and encouraged me to keep at it and get better. I doubt I would have been anywhere near good enough for a show without them. Thank you so much Mommy and Daddy!!!
AAANNND I think that is it.... Thank you again to EVERYONE!!!!!
The date of my show is getting closer. Not by more than a few days, but closer still and with it comes the realization of more things I am going to need to buy. Bags, jewelry boxes, labels, a plane ticket, hotel reservations, gas, and more. On top of that is the possibility I will have to pay the fees for the show itself (If I don't get enough ticket sales in my name.)
The prices for all of these items are really reasonable at the places I have found. But as anyone who has ever done a craft/art/etc show knows, even reasonably priced items can stack up on you. And while I am not poor, I still live off the college student mentality of eating ramen because it is only 10 cents a pack.
This entire event is very exciting, but also very nerve making. Hopefully everything will work out and when it is over I can have a drink and crash out from nerve exhaustion with my pockets full of sold jewelry, a.k.a. money. :D
If anyone is in Austin, check out www.RAWartists.org/austin/discovery It's gonna be a really fun night and every ticket you buy under my name (or someone else's) goes to help that artist pay their fees for the show.
Mari Annelise Photography